Today had to (got to) speak in front of two classes. One was an assignment, and one to prototype a workshop, but both were a little scary.
The class assignment was was scary because I was meant to present last week but I managed to largely misinterpret the assignment and had to revise it for this week. This presentation did go fairly well and I felt confident in my knowledge of the subject. Unsurprisingly, any fear was entirely projected and unfounded.
Projected because I assumed how people–namely my professor–would react with no reason to believe that would happen. Running scenarios in my head is a thing I do sometimes, kind of like a computer but much more flawed because I’m quite human. It’s useful much of the time, particularly when anticipating failure points–quite a few problems have been averted from this.
Unfortunately every once in a while I get it all wrong, particularly with people, and subject myself to some expectation of ridicule or anger when its largely unfounded.
I do understand that there are very real and legitimate exceptions–you know who you are. But for the rest of us, it’s all in our heads.